The reconfigurable metasurfaces which can regulate the microwave absorption performance at the sub wavelength scale provide a possibility to construct intelligent stealth system. However, the existing reconfigurable-metasurface-based absorbers seriously limit the medium and long-distance regulation in practical application due to the complex circuit path and regulation mode. Here, an infrared-coded dual-polarized metasurface absorber (IDMA) with remote-control mode was proposed, which realized the real-time dynamic regulation of the intensity and frequency range of absorption peaks by combining the infrared-coding remote-control technology with the active metasurface absorber. The proposed remote-control system can switch the 8-bit binary coding sequences stored in the microcontroller unit (MCU) by an infrared transceiver, so as to regulate the state of active devices under X- and Y-polarizations, respectively. The experimental results showed that the reflection/absorption responses can be regulated by switching different binary codes, and the reflection loss (RL) can be tuned below −7.5 dB (absorptivity over 82%) in wide range of 6.20–18 GHz. Furthermore, the corresponding equivalent circuit model was established and the distributions of surface current and electric field were analyzed to elucidate the dynamic reconfigurable mechanism of the metasurface absorber. The proposed IDMA, which combines intelligent electronic technology with active metasurface absorber, creatively realizes the remote control of active metasurface absorber and opens up a new way for the stealth technology of smart absorber in the future.